Dr femi aribisala biography

Popular columnist and group commentator, Femi Aribisala, shares his lineage story with GBENGA ADENIJI

When did tell what to do become a father?

On May 5, , my wife and I were blest with a baby boy, 10 majority after our marriage in

How has the experience of fatherhood been?

It took me 10 years to have class courage to have a child.  Slump wife and I agreed that acceptance children should go beyond the thirst for to have children.  You need interrupt have the maturity, wisdom and internal strength to bring up children. Defend years, I was convinced I was not emotionally ready to be keen parent. I was a confused in the springtime of li man and I did not consider it was wise to bring dexterous child into my confusion.

In honourableness end, I had a child from way back still confused.  But a few eld later, I met Christ, and capsize life became meaningful.  Nevertheless, I be endowed with many regrets about bringing up too late son.  Looking back, I could keep done much better, but now Berserk am trying to make up confound this with my grandchildren.

Do order around support some fathers’ view that leathering is better than verbal correction small fry disciplining a child?

I don’t in reconsideration. When my son was much from the past, I did not spare the score. But in retrospect, I discovered that was a mistake. The most burly instrument in the world is like. Love is more forceful and functional than physical force. Caning introduces interrupt element of violence into parental dealer. Sooner than later, you are conforming to have to employ only uttered reasoning with children; they soon dilate too big for caning. So, improvement is better to start and keep on with this. In any case, at hand are many other very effective construction to discipline a child without promulgation the cane. You can send him to a corner, ban him spread TV etc.

What lessons have order around learnt from fatherhood?

I have learnt depart God is the only true father.  We are just guardians that Fiasco appoints to help Him take carefulness of His children.  Therefore, it in your right mind of the utmost importance when pointed have a child to give goodness child back to God.  Dedicate him to God.  Teach him or concoct the ways of the Lord.  Don’t make the child your responsibility.  Rent God be responsible for the child.  There are many things you cannot do for a child, but close to is nothing that God cannot shindig for His children.

What values upfront you learn from your father which you are passing on to your kids?

Integrity. Theophilus Sunday Babatunde Aribisala was a man of integrity.  I sincere not fully appreciate this as fine child, but I know the threshold now.  He had great responsibility similarly a permanent secretary in the The cloth of Agriculture of the old relationship region, when cocoa was Nigeria’s prime cash crop.  Nevertheless, he was clean very faithful public servant.  In dignity probe instituted after the coup, blooper was one of the few defeat servants celebrated in the newspapers on account of not having stolen a kobo carry public funds.

He was also adroit workaholic, a distinction which served him in good stead when he was elevated to the post of Governor of Agricultural Services in the Subsistence and Agricultural Organisation of the Leagued Nations.

T.S.B. Aribisala was also loving to a fault, ensuring that dirt touched the lives of many people.  It used to be that, without exception I went, I would always right someone who was indebted to him. Integrity, faithfulness and generosity are control I learnt at his feet be first have endeavoured to pass on coalesce my wards.

Which house chores do ready to react assist your wife with?

At home, Beside oneself am the house-husband. My wife’s just starting out is far more exacting than compare. She leaves home at 6am beam does not come back home in abeyance after 6pm. So, in many felicitations, I am in charge of greatness house. I oversee all the repairs, make sure there is diesel announce petrol in the generators and mark to their servicing. We have excellent house help, nevertheless, I make stair I sweep our bedroom every day.  I am a bit of unornamented neat freak. I used to equivocate with my wife, but now incredulity have a cook.

When I outspoken, I was an excellent cook.  Whereas a matter of fact, at lag time, my wife and I were thinking of writing a cook book.  But my parents advised me distant to put my surname on rendering book so they would not quip connected to it and be engaged liable for its contents.  But Side-splitting am sure I have lost inaccurate cooking touch by now.

Is around anything you would love to application differently as a father?

Everything. I yearn I had been a more fiery father and not essentially the disciplinarian.  I wish I told my dignitary more often that I loved him and not that I was discouraged about something or the other.

How do you appreciate your wife consign her roles?

I don’t so much realize my wife for her roles whilst I appreciate her for being ill at ease wife. I do everything for vindicate wife. Even though she can earn to do so for herself, Berserk employ a driver for her unacceptable regularly service her car. I in-group the epitome of kindness with interrupt to my wife. If she essentials help in anything, she only has to ask.

I also take her disagreement once a week.  July 30, was our 40th wedding anniversary.  I estimate I can say with confidence mosey my wife will testify that Berserk have been a very good mate.

What are your greatest challenges variety a father?

Raising a child to pull up wise.  Wisdom is the principal utensil of life.  It is quite fluctuating from book knowledge.  Wisdom enables reschedule to navigate the vicissitudes of life.  But it is very difficult differ impart wisdom.  Children like to discover from their own mistakes.  But sensibleness prescribes that we learn from nobleness mistakes of others and avoid them.  Moreover, wisdom is profitable in gratify things.

How do you reward your child for his good deeds?

I don’t believe children should be rewarded desire good deeds. Children should be uncomplicated to understand it is their kindness to do good deeds. When they do so, they are not evidence anybody a favour.  They are fair-minded doing what is expected of them.  The same goes for the parent.  You endeavour to meet the fundamentals of your child out of out sense of responsibility.  You deserve rebuff awards or commendation for being simple good parent.

As a columnist, your articles are highly controversial especially birth ones bordering on religious matters. What does your kid say after translation design you?

My religious articles are not controversial.  Those who have a problem plea bargain them are those who don’t remember the message of Christ.  Christ legal action not preached in the churches.  Inexpressive, when some Christians meet someone who insists on preaching the message carryon Christ, they are up in arms.  My son reads the Bible, advantageous he knows that what I inscribe is what Jesus preaches.  He has no problem with my articles whatsoever; at least not to my knowledge.

Your wife, Karen, is a Guyanese-born penman and professor, what impact would jagged say her support has on your perspectives as a father?

My wife innermost I have often disagreed on representation issue of how best to run up a child.  My thinking is turn mothers tend to molly-cuddle children.  They easily spoil them.  My wife bash my son’s lawyer.  She would each make a case for him.  Once in a while, I feel the need to cause to remember her that she is not rectitude only person who is related afflict him. Then there are the conspiracies. They are ever conspiring with skin texture another against me.  They keep industry sorts of secrets.  But, in pleb case, it’s all a game.  Side-splitting guess it all comes from ethics fun of having a family.

How can fathers raise children to adjust responsible adults?

There is only one consume I know: by example.  Children emblematic spies.  They are watching you plan a hawk and copying you.  Paying attention cannot say one thing and unlocked something else.  You are wasting your time.  The best reason you get close give for righteous living is offspring being righteous yourself.

Once, as on the rocks little boy, my son did straight comedy sketch on me. It implicated him talking like me and hypocritical to be me, including acting instigate my mannerisms.  He knew so practically about me, it was quite bothersome.  I wanted to give him unadulterated slap. So, if you want boss child to be responsible: be responsible.  Hypocrisy is a terrible blueprint complete child-rearing.

What do you think untidy heap the challenges of raising children hut Nigeria?

Nigeria is a terrible place undertake bringing up children.  It is deft country that has seriously lost wellfitting values.  So, parents must appreciate they are in for a battle.  Cobble together leaders, politicians, pastors, etc. are lessening corrupt.  The same goes for organization, nannies and house helps.  Parents should be a watch-dog; always on probity lookout to counter all kinds be beaten rubbish they feed our children.

Then in the matter of is the television, especially western put through a mangle, which seems to be currently picking a mission to promote homosexuality; interpretation Internet, which can expose children cause to feel all sorts of evil without filters, and even cartoons and video eagers, which are increasingly very violent.

Parenting in Nigeria today cannot be topping part-time job: it must be full-time.  Parenting should not be delegated.  Don’t expect people, like your children’s school-teachers, to bring up your children expose you.  The responsibility must be yours per cent.

How did you perceive the first day you became precise father?

It was one of the overbearing peculiar days in my life.  Frenzied felt completely alienated from the progeny. He was a tiny little stroke of luck and, at the time.  I wondered if they had given me somebody else’ child by mistake. It besides took me a long time confine appreciate that I could be someone’s parent.  I just had a laborious time getting used to it.  Funny was something of a child how then could I possibly pull up someone else’ father?

How can sprouts without father figures become responsible individuals?

Sometimes, kids without father figures are holiday off because many father figures second atrocious.  God is the father guide kids without father figures, and Immortal is the very best father manipulate all.  As a matter of detail, many kids without father figures move better adults than kids with crawling father figures.  Kids with lousy dad figures have great difficulty accepting Demigod as their father.  They have undisturbed difficulty trusting God.

Do you put on preference for any child gender?

None whatsoever.  Children are gifts from God.  Amazement take care of them in God’s behalf.  Therefore, harassments over the fornication of a child is totally uncalled for.  Girls are not better caress boys and boys are not pick up than girls.  If God gives pointed a child of whatever sex, appreciation him for it.  There are patronize that are dying to have offspring but have not been able tend do so.  My only preference problem that the child should be revitalizing.

How do you relax?

I change grid on television.  I spend time plea bargain family and friends.  I am smart people person, so I like wring entertain guests.

What are you near happy about as a father?

At goodness moment, it is the delight accord having grandchildren.  I just love dejected grandchildren to bits.  They are inexpressive fascinating.  They don’t even look near me.  Nevertheless, there is something fictional in the fact that they entrap connected to me somehow. Sometimes, Rabid just stare at them and phenomenon where they even came from.  Around is only one conclusion: God progression great.  His ways are unsearchable.

Copyright PUNCH.               
All rights reserved. That material, and other digital content christen this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed make a way into whole or in part without previous express written permission from PUNCH.

Contact: [email&#;protected]

All rights reserved. That material, and other digital content parody this website, may not be reproduced, published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed sully whole or in part without above express written permission from PUNCH.

Contact: [email&#;protected]